I was raised in a Christian home despite the fact they we didn’t go
to church often. My dad thought that you didn’t need to go to church
all of the time to worship God. My siblings and I were taught the
importance of prayer and of reading the Bible. Sadly, I never really
studied the Bible. As I got older I began working. I wasn’t able to
attend church as I should have. I still had a prayerful relationship
with God and went to him for help and guidance all the time.
Not long after my husband and I began dating we started talking
about marriage. We both agreed that we wanted our children to be
raised with the importance of going to church. He was a member of
the Mormon Church, at the time he was inactive. We went to my church
first, he wasn’t really happy with it, so we went to his church a
few times. The people at the Mormon Church were very welcoming. I
did like the church, but I wasn’t sure I wanted to become a member.
At the same time I was concerned that if I didn’t go to his church
my children would never be brought up in a Christian home. So I had
the discussions, which I found very intimidating, the missionaries
kept asking me “What do you think about that?” or “How do you feel
about this?” Despite my apprehensions I was baptized, I thought that
after I was member for awhile things would start to make more sense.
There were many things about the Mormon doctrine that didn’t feel
right to me. I couldn’t put my finger just what it was that bothered
me. I understand now that I wasn’t saved, I wasn’t walking with the
Lord, or I never would have joined the church.
After being a member of the church for one year I was able to go to
the temple. That didn’t help sooth my concerns, it only added to
them. I have a couple experiences in the temple that were upsetting
and scary to me. I never spoke of these things to a member of the
church; I didn’t think they would believe me. I always heard others
talk about the wonderful experiences they had. They would say things
like “I know that they accepted the work I did for them”, or that
they knew their family member was there with them in the temple. It
wasn’t until after I got out of the church, and spoke to others who
had left, that I found out I wasn’t the only one who had creepy
things happen to them in the LDS temple.
Most LDS people would be asking me about now, why didn’t you talk to
your bishop, or a church leader about your concerns? You know what?
I did talk to them, I was given the same standard, recycled reply,
“Pray about it, Fast, Read the Book of Mormon”, and my personal
favorite “I know this church is true.” I did those things I was told
to do. When I was still unsure about the church, I was told that
there are things that we won’t understand in this life; we just have
to take it on faith. Well, I thought that the LDS church had the
answer for all those questions? Isn’t that what they pride
For 13yrs we were an active, temple worthy couple. I tried to push
back all the doubt and questions in my mind. I thought that I was in
a Christian church even though there were things that didn’t match
up with the Bible. At the end of 2006 I couldn’t keep it up. I knew
there wasn’t something right about the church but I was afraid to
say anything. My husband watched a program on TV about the Masons.
It showed what goes on in the Masonic Temple. He told me about it
and I began truly investigating the Mormon Church. I was determined
once and for all to get to the bottom of what was going on. I knew
that jumping into the deep end of this would either reaffirm all
that I was taught or change my life forever. I read many things
both pro-Mormon and what Mormons would call anti-Mormon. I really
began to read and study my Bible. I told my husband about my
findings. We came to the conclusion that the Mormon Church is not
what it claims to be. I wish I would have known the Bible better. It
clearly says that the Mormon Church is wrong. As a Mormon we are
taught that we can’t trust the Bible. Since leaving the church I
have had Mormons tell me the same thing, so I know that I wasn’t the
only one who was taught that the Bible is untrustworthy. I always
felt like I couldn’t really believe what it was telling me. It
wasn’t until after I left the church that I knew that in order for
me to understand the Bible I needed to be saved first.
As I write my testimony I think back to all those Fast and Testimony
meetings I sat in on as a church member. All of their testimonies
were about the church. They talked about their callings, the temple,
how great the Bishop is and let’s not forget Joseph Smith or the
current prophet. None it this is about Jesus. Recently I came
across a verse in Luke (6:45) the last line says “of the abundance
of his heart his mouth speaketh”. This verse describes the LDS
testimony to a T. Their hearts aren’t focused on Jesus, but on the
church. Jesus is somewhere in the background. They are always the
first to say that they are Christians and point out the “real name
of their church” emphasizing “Jesus Christ” with their voice. I
wonder now, if they believe so much in Jesus why is their
testimonies filled with praises to their prophets, church leaders
and other aspects to their religion?
My last few weeks in Mormonism was heartbreaking for me. I just
didn’t what to be there any more knowing what I knew about the
church. One day I was sitting in on a Relief Society meeting for the
leaders; I was the compassionate service leader. I remember feeling
very apprehensive, but I was there out of duty to my calling. Inside
I was a bundle of nerves, and I felt awful being in that building.
By then I was learning how far away the church was from the Biblical
Jesus. That was the last church meeting I attended.
We have been out of the church now for all most eight months. Our
spiritual growth has been tremendous. When I go to church now I am
learning from God’s Word, not from some ones testimony or a church
manual. Before I never could say that I was saved. Mormons don’t say
that they are saved. I believed that I had to work my way to heaven.
“Through good works” I would receive exaltation and eternal life. If
we had to work our way to Heaven Jesus didn’t have to come, take
upon our sins and die on the cross for us. Now I know through God’s
Word that I will have eternal life, because I have been born-again,
and have accepted Jesus as my savior. Now I am making a real effort
to learn, and understand the Bible. I hope to help other people
understand what Mormonism is all about. I want them to come to the
Jesus of the Bible, and know that they can achieve the peace and
hope that he gives freely.